Heavy Heart

Disclaimer: This is not a conclusive post. My heart is so full, heavy, grief-stricken, joyful, confused, challenged, and still comforted by my sweet Savior. This is just a post trying to put into words what the Lord is teaching me today. Maybe one day it will make sense.

I love when you can tell the Lord is doing something big. He is always working in a mighty way but many times I close my eyes and claim that He is not.  Today I woke up just feeling His presence, with a new sense of His desire and power to use this life. Many times I just wonder “when Lord, when will you call me to do something great”. And every time He answers me with the sweet reminder that daily He is doing something great in me. Shaping me for tomorrow. Forming me to be used for His glory, purpose, and calling. I think I sometimes try to disguise my voice as God’s. Trying to figure out His will and telling myself I am so willing to go. Often times I realize how closed my fists have become. Am I willing? Truly willing to go to the end’s of the Earth for the sake of Christ?  I’m afraid I only see the ends of the Earth as some remote place far from anything I love and hold dear. More and more, God is reminding me that He places me exactly where He wants His name spread, to His people, for His glory, and at His timing. He is teaching me so much that it is not the geographical location that matters to Him as much as my heart location does. If my physical location is only out of pride, it does the kingdom no good. My heart is where His concern is. My heart is beating for the world. For all the nations to know Christ. I realize it is simply not possible for me to go to every nation and share Christ (epic journey if that could happen). It is possible to pray for the nations, go when I am called, and faithfully share the Man that hung on a cross to save me and them. Today, I am praying for the nations, but I am also praying for my heart. That I do not lose sight of the power of the Gospel. That I do not forget what Christ has saved me from and that I boldly tell it to others (geographical location aside). I do not know where the Lord is calling me to go. I do know who He has promised will be with me and what my purpose is in going. What a powerful and all-encompassing promise.

Precious faces on my heart today.


from the moment I saw her sweet face looking in... she had me.




I love these children.  What I love even more is how much more God loves them. I may never see them again on this Earth, but what a sweet reunion in Heaven it will be, for those that will put their hope and trust in Christ.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” 2 Cor. 4:17



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